I have been disrespected

I'm am not sure I can write this and make any sense because I am so hurt and upset and it is just been a very hard day. I have been the head of grounds in the co-op that we live at for about eleven or more years, and for the past four years I have been the person who mows all the common area with the ride on mower, now I have to back step a bit,  before I started to do the job of mowing the co-op paid another guy who lived here for doing the job of mowing and he also weeded all the common area and the co-op paid him $65.00 each time. Now back to me because my arms are not strong enough I did not do the weeding with the gas weed eater but I did mow all of the common area and I charged $40.00 a complete mow, I have done this for the last three years and now the co-op has decided not to pay me after this years contract is up, they want me to train three people to help do the mowing so they don't have to pay me. I feel like I have been slapped in the face and basically told I am unworthy of a lousy $40.00 dollars a mow, that all the hard work I have put into it for all these years making sure to have the grounds looking the best, going out to mow with heatstroke late in the day just to not get behind in the work means shit. They say that no one will get paid anymore for the work around the co-op that it all has to be volunteered because that is part of living in a co-op and I am not saying I don't agree with that but mowing is not the only job that I do extra for the co-op, every spring I prune 5 plumb tree's all my own, I also every spring take all the garden equipement out of the shed and prepare everything for the members to use and make sure everything is neat and tidy. We have some cherry tree's that always have a bunch of suckers that spring up every year and I alone go and cut all these down and clean it all up, this year I have been having some health issues so I asked for help to clear out the suckers, I waited two and half weeks for someone to go and do some of the work and no one did shit, so I had to go and cut it all down myself so the neighbors on the other side of the fence would stop complaining to me, I also clean up the berm area along our main road every year mostly to make it easier for me to get around the tree's and don't have to duck under branches when I mow and all this I do by myself every year and it means shit. So I have retired from it all I will no longer be clearing up anything and after I show the other three people how to drive the mower I will be quiting that also, I am done with not being valued as a person. The money I made from mowing the season which adds up to $300.00 a season I have never charged more than that, I used to help with extra grocery's, pet food and gives me a little money to spend at the dollar store, now that won't be happening and I am so damn hurt about it I haven't been able to stop crying all day. I will get passed this I know I will it will just take some time but next spring when all this extra work is not getting done by me I can't wait to see and hear them all complain and I am going to shove it right back into there faces. My home was always a place I felt proud to live at and now it's just a place I have to live at cause we can't afford to move

Back to Day One

It has been awhile I know I just haven't felt like writing been in a funk for a bit but hoping I am coming out of it. The summer is here and I have been sick with heatstroke 3 times already, makes me so frustrated because I feel so good out in the sun but every year I get sick because I stay out to long and then I have to pay for it for a week, but let's hope I have learned my lesson for the rest of summer hahahahaha probably not. It's been a mix of emotions this spring for me, there is a very bad rabbit virus going around so I have had to keep my two boys in the house, I hate that they are inside but I am also to scared to take a chance with them going out. I phoned my vet to see if they will bring in the vaccine for them and they won't, so if I want them to have the shot I have to take them to the other vet and they will charge me about $250.00 because they both have to have a health check first, well I can't afford to pay that so for the time being they will stay in the house, I did make them a big playpen that they like and I am in the process of putting another floor. We had a couple losses my female dove passed away and the next day my last finch also passed, I had moved the doves outside for the summer and after she passed my two boy doves stopped cooing, after 3 days of not hearing them I took them back into the house to be with the rabbit's and my lovebird and by the next afternoon they started to sing again so I guess they didn't want to be out there alone, usually the rabbit's are with them, so everyone is in the house and so far it's fine I let them all out almost every day as long as the cat is not in the room. I have started to take apart the outside barn I have decided to make it smaller and move it to the back of the yard so I can put in a garden were the barn is right now, they don't need such a huge cage anymore with just the two of them plus they have the run of the yard all day, that is if they get to even go out at all this year. tomorrow I  will take some pictures of the process, I have already took all the toy's and bowls and bins out and removed the tarp from the roof so tomorrow I will be removing the floor and the roof, then I have to cut the boards and move the front back about half the size and then move the cage and put the roof and floor back in, that is going to be a big job for sure. Well it is midnight and I need to get some sleep so I can get to work early in the morning, I will try and post the pictures tomorrow....

Such is life

Hello long time no see, I have been so busy lol okay I have been not so busy just been hard to think let alone write but the sun is out and I am starting to feel better, mood is getting lighter and I can't be happier. This weekend was our Co-op's spring cleanup, I am so sore it's not even funny, spent 6 1/2 hours doing yard work on sat and will take me 3-4 days to get over it, my poor hands are so swollen I can hardly use them, good thing I only use three fingers to type hahahahaha. I worked on my garden for three days the week before it is looking great but man did I over do it, I still have more to do but thank goodness it is raining for the next few days so I can take a break. We had a wonderful visit with my brother and sister inlaw the other day, they came with a van full of stuff for me to have so much clothes again I am still going through it all, they spoil me so much I am  so grateful for everything they do for us, hubby even got some shirts and shorts and a couple really nice jackets. Most of the rest is stuff to pass on to others and a lot I will use for sure, some very beautiful garden angels that hubby won't let me put out he want's them to get cleaned and put on our shelf in the house so they don't get wrecked. Every day I go through a pile and sort and put where it belongs it's like Christmas in April lol. Well this is about all I can type today hands are getting sore but think I will be back writing more again I have missed it and now that I am having more good days then bad I will have something to write, hope all is well with you......✋✋✋