No Excuses

It's been so long since I wrote, I wish I could say it's because I was having an exciting adventure but alas nope just regular life with regular problems. I guess I have been hiding again it's not that I am depressed or angry I think I have been numb, after all that happened with my hubby, I just kind of went into a funk. I just didn't feel well anything oh sure I laughed and I cried but mostly I sat and got lost inside myself, I think I just needed to protect myself maybe my body knew I was sinking and just hung on to the edge for awhile and you know what I'm good with that. Today as of two min before coming here I guess I decided it is time to wake up again, oh I didn't just sit around I worked in my garden, built a cat run, built a new dove cage, extended the rabbit pen and purged about ten boxes of stuff, so I have been busy not sure why I feel like I was in a funk but I just do lol, a very productive funk. One thing that has been fantastic is I have had many visits with family well my nephew and niece but that's family is it not lol, it's been amazing to talk and visit what a blessing, I noticed that when they come to visit I can't stop talking hahahahaha I think I have craved family more than I even knew, it's hard when you can't travel and depend on people coming to see you, i don't complain about it cause I know everyone has things going on in there life but I sure do miss everyone. There is a family reunion next year and I am trying to figure out how I can get to it we will have to save up and either rent or borrow a camper van, something that has a bathroom in it to keep my anxiety away cause if I have a toilet along with me I won't panic about what if I need a bathroom cause just that will keep me from going, isn't that sad, but that is me and I either deal with it or go crazy trying to accept who I am. Well I am tired and Dean just woke up to get ready for work, he is working graveyard again, hate it but it is an easier shift for him so I keep my mouth shut and just make the cat sleep with me hahahahaha, who am I fooling she sleeps with whoever she damn well pleases hahahahha.