Rabbit Barn

Thought I would post some pictures of the barn I made all by myself for my rabbit's and my doves. 

My wonderful brother gave me a table saw and a chop saw and I found the corner pieces on freescycle they used to be a canopy that collapsed from the weight of snow so they were giving them away and I grabbed them as soon as I saw them, most of the materials I used I had or was given, I got the wood myself but the wire and flooring and roof was given to me, I have the best friends I tell ya. I had an idea of what I wanted to do so I asked my brother and my builder friend what would be best and the next day I started cutting wood and painting, the painting took the longest and maybe putting the wire on was a pain cause it kept falling over as I was stapling it on, under the floor is just some left over treated 2/4s I was given I just laid them down and nailed the flooring to them, it's for sure not flat but it works for us, I was going to redo the floor but I decided to let it be for another year, this way I will have flooring for a few years, I have enough flooring to put a new floor down every year for 3 years if I had to maybe even more. putting the roof on was interesting it is in three pieces and needs to be redone but will be okay for this year, I lifted the front piece and pushed it up from the other end and slid it to were I needed it and nailed it on, my next roof will be larger well have more of a hang over part and will have shingles so no more tarps but I had to use what I could afford or what was given to me and I am happy with what I have for now. I only have 2 rabbit's I lost 2 this winter Lizzy and my baby Deagan, from old age so there is plenty of room for the 3 plus they have the run of my yard during the day so just a bit spoild lol.

Sick of being sick

So yesterday I had the bright idea to go outside and work on my rabbit barn, getting it ready for the rabbit's and the doves to spend the next few months outside again, I was so looking forward to them having a larger space to fly and let the rabbit's run so there I am working for 2 1/2 hours everything was going fine then I coughed and dropped the hammer on my foot hahahahaha well I kept working for another 10 min then I had to come in the house I was beat, you see for the last 3 months I have been fighting a cough then I got pneumonia but I have been feeling better this week so dummy me thought sure I can handle doing this, guess I was wrong came in the house just after 2pm and went to bed and slept till 2 am, guess I wasn't ready but it was such a nice day and I am so sick of being in the house I know excuses excuses lol, my hubby Dean has grounded me for the next 3 days I am not allowed to do anything, I said anything he says damn right quit trying to be 20 years old it's not going to happen hahahahahaha I should be insulted if it wasn't for the concern on his face, so I have sworn to be good for the next 3 days but after that I am going to kick some ass on the barn hahahahahaha.

Thoughts

A friend of mine got me thinking about some stuff that makes us both feel angry about, we both live with our own troubles just like others do and we try to put up with ignorance about depression and anxiety etc, and people with there judgement on us but some days it's just so hard, I don't think these people consider the guilt that some feel for not being I quote Normal, I for one don't need to hear I am faking or taking advantage just because you can't see my disability when you look at me, sometimes when someone asks me how are you I want to say, does it matter, I try to put on my happy face all the time because I feel less of a person to say well today I am not good, many people I would imagine after knowing someone for a while you know that you have to put on a happy face when they ask you because you just don't want to see in the their face that they couldn't care less if you are having a bad day, and if I hear one more person tell me to buck up and get over it I think I will explode I mean I always want to say to them hey let me break your leg and then tell you to buck up and just walk. It's terrible to think that it would be better if my depression would show so I would have an excuse for not having a good day. Depression to me is like an elevator, you wake up in the morning and never know what floor the door will open to, so you lay there for a few min just to get yourself ready to face the day and pray ever so hard that the door doesn't open at the basement, it would be great if when you wake up you could push the button to get to the floor you want but that just doesn't happen, oh sure you can sometimes have enough power to push yourself towards a better floor but some days you can't even get off the elevator let alone a new floor. I don't think anyone who has not been in my world could ever understand just how hard I have to work some day's to just make it through, just getting out of bed sometimes is all I can do and if I can shower and get dressed I have to praise myself for accomplishing only just that. People who live with depression, anxiety or panic attacks don't wake up one day and say out loud oh what I would give to have this in my life, so please keep your judgement tucked away at least until I leave the room because as much as you think you are judging me you can be assured that I am judging myself  far worse then you could ever know.