Well that explains that lol

Surprise and no not the kind a woman likes I am as my friends says I am broken for 5 days hahahahaha. I now know why I have been so emotional and angry, it all makes sense now, all the anger and being mad is gone it left this morning and then the cry at any moment has kicked in, my poor hubby is not sure if he should even look at me lol.  Today I decided because I am bloated and don't want anything tight on I wore a dress, the dress I got from my sister in law it's bright red and yellow and almost orange in some spots with a cross over chest and you would think I never wear dresses, I walk down stair and my hubby looks and his jaw drops and says were has that been hiding and why haven't you worn it more hahahahaha I guess it looks not bad, being a heavy person I was a bit nervous about the colors but he says it looks great so guess I will wear this one more often, then he says to me this isn't going to be just your broken dress?  OMG I laughed so hard he says no seriously is it? well that made it worse so we laughed till I had to sit down for air, was just what I needed. We have a water advisory on right now so we have to boil out water so for the first time in about 9 years I went and paid for water to fill our machine, we usually just put tap water in, the water is okay but I like the taste of our water so will be glad when we can go back to drinking it. What crazy weather we have had for two days it poured down so hard and fast some of us had to go out and bucket water away from our doors but I am not complaining because others are flooded in terribly in Kelowna and other places, I only remember it raining that bad since I was ten years old, it's amazing how the weather is changing in our area we seem to be having colder winters and hotter summers, the only time I can go and stay out for the day is spring and fall because of my meds I burn right away in the sun. I got pictures sent to me of my nieces wedding on Sat, looks like they had a wonderful time, a bit to much drinking for me but to be young and stupid again, no I don't think even if I was young again I would drink that much, oh well at least everyone was safe but I sure wouldn't have wanted to be any of them on Sunday. I wish I could have gone it's only about twenty five min away from me and I still couldn't go, I don't know if I ever will be able to go out of town again, haven't left home for over 6 years since my anxiety got so bad, it's not much fun being scared all the time, thankfully I have family that understand, they don't like it but they don't get to mad at me. What gets me is they all have my address, sure wish more would come and see us but that's on them not on me I have accepted that at this point I am not able to leave so I just push myself to do more in town and as that gets easier I hope to wonder a bit farther. If we had a car that was safe to drive now that would make a huge difference but we don't and with no  money to buy one that leaves me kind of stuck. A few years ago my brother gave us our car but can't see that happening again anytime soon. I keep putting ads in freecycle but no go oh well at least I can still drive in town and hubby can get back and forth to work. 

Slap me in the face, so tired of this.

Have you ever known someone who lives to make others life difficult?  I have I am so mad I could spit fire but I also feel totally deflated because once again this person gets away with treating others like crap and once again they get away with a slap on the hand. I try my best not to live my life in anger my years have shown me that is not the way to live, and so I use all my power to just let it go but it sure is hard. I do things everyday that make me feel happy and when I manage to get to that point I hold on for all my life, sometimes I win and sometimes I don't and the anger comes flooding back. The worst part is I know this person is in the wrong no question about it but somehow they manage to skip on by day to day with no conscious at all. I can't imagine living a life not caring that I may hurt others by my actions, just whatever if I don't care I don't have to face what I have done I guess. It's exhausting and not very productive so I push forward, keep good thoughts and go on, about the only thing that helps to get passed all this is I know at some point karma is going to take a huge chunk out of her ass. I hate to say it but I hope I am there to see it happen.