Worry Worry Fret Fret lol

That was my song of the day, I have been sick all winter and I am so sick of being sick and I am also so fricken tired of comments about what to do to make myself not be sick, thank you to the people that get it but the others can go kiss my ass, telling me I need to go see a doctor and get help or take more vitamins or??????  really you really think I need all this advice shoved down my throat, for one my doctor is very aware of how things are going for me and she is doing everything she can to help me get passed the winter blues and depression, we changed my meds a bit to see if that will help shut my head off a bit so I can sleep more then 3 hours a night and we are keeping a good eye on my blood pressure cause it tends to go low when I am sick and that just makes it harder to get better and ya some days like yesterday all I can do is cry and feel sorry for myself have a pity party for an hour, I really don't think that is a big deal let me have my moments then I get passed it and start fighting again and guess what I am winning everyday I win just a bit more, I had a bit of a set back and my cough is back again but I managed to get through all of today without breaking down so booooyaaaaa to me lol. Oh brb have to go check on my brats..... they are all doing well the heat lamps are working fine so maybe tonight I will sleep I can hope. Anyways so one day at a time that is all I can work at I just get tired of  feeling like crap and you push and you push all that you can to make everyday just a bit better, you would think that by the time Feb hits every year I would get it that every year till about the middle of Feb I struggle because the sun is coming out more and the snow is melting and it's all I can do to be patient for planting my garden but every year and if I think about it as I get older I think it hits just a bit harder because my patience level is that much lower so I just need to shut the hell up and take a breath and relax a bit and stop getting over emotional about something that will pass in like a week or two damn it, get a hold of yourself  hahahaha, Today when I was hanging the heat lamps I got so excited because I could smell my winter onions already, see it doesn't take much to make me happy all I can think about is having some poached eggs with onion on toast, if my tummy agrees maybe tomorrow will have to see I managed to keep my supper down tonight thank god was touch and go for about an hour but I did it. You know what is so bad I could scream for a huge bowl of chocolate pudding hahahahaha when ever I am feeling like this I know it is because I need some calcium and iron so tomorrow I am making a batch of spinach and I can hardly wait, I would make it right now but I don't want to push my tummy it's been three days of just having a bit of apple and cheese was going to have soup but couldn't get passed opening it without belly flops so put that back, I need to get some lipton chicken noodle soup I can always eat that in a mug my favorite but I forgot to get some last time I went to get food, maybe I can sneak off to the store tomorrow not going to count on it cause I have no idea from day to day if I will be able to leave the house without being nauseous, so that's how my exciting life has been, I know can Yardley contain the excitement, tomorrow is bath day for the birds now that is a happy time something to look forward to.....  

Your Fricken Joking. Right?

So today I woke up and it was a nice day so I thought well let's go out and start getting the barn ready for the brats to move back outside, so before I can work on the inside I have to empty all the stuff I put in for the winter and find some place for them, took me a bit but I got it cleared, then the first project was to put a new poop shelf for the doves so they don't bomb the rabbit's lol, so took the old shelf down measured the new shelf material and cut it, then before I attach it to the cage I decided to fix the back wall I put a slit in the wire so the poop will roll down and land outside the cage then I can just rake behind the cage for clean up, after I cut the slit I realized that wasn't going to work so great cause the doves can push there way out, if I would have just cut some slits here and there that would have worked but no I got all gun ho and cut so what I did is took some string and weaved a line along the slit and that worked so got that done, next project was to build a hay holder I had an idea I just had to put some metal shelves together so got doing that, it worked great, attaching it to the wall was a pain in the ass had to hold one side up and attach the other side with a lot of swears I got it lol, then after it was attached I had to make a cover so the doves can't sit on top of the hay and poop all over it, began making that and my hubby comes outside and says hun were are you? I'm like hello the barn is open were do you think I am, then he says to me I am hungry, this is when I got pissed off I am like you have got to be fricken kidding me right, I am in the middle of all this and you want me to stop and make you something to eat? it's his day off and he has been sitting in front of his Xbox all fricken day and he can't get off his ass and make himself something, what the hell is up with that, so I said that's nice so he says so I guess you are not hungry I said I am in the middle of getting this done and I am not stopping while the weather is good for me to get it done, so he went to McDonald's, how fricken lazy can you be just amazes me some times just what he expects from me, I make sure he has supper ready after work and I do his laundry and clean his dishes and all that shit that apparently a wife is to do that isn't working, now I do agree I should do most of all that because I am home and he is working that is not a problem but I went yesterday and got us a lasagna for dinner and half was in the fridge so he could of just warmed that up to eat but he didn't want to bother doing that god what a poor baby to have to eat leftovers hahahahahaha so that's fine I heated it up and ate most of it myself cause did he bring me something home of course not arrrgggggg  sometimes I tell ya.... So I did manage to make a cover for the hay bin and I also made a cover for the rabbit's water bowl so the birds won't bath in it, swept and put some cleaning stuff ready to use, I want to put a couple holders for the dust pan and the scoops so they are attached to the wall and up out of the way till I need them. This year will be easier because I will have the water bowls so I can just use the hose and pour the water in from outside the cage. I also have the straw on a shelf but I might be changing that cause having two large bales in there takes up a lot of space I might make another hay holder and put it in that and I can just take what I need out and then refill as needed, at least this holder can be attached higher because I don't want the rabbit's pulling it out, will see what I can come up with later for now I am staying in the house cause I don't want to get cold I am still fighting a cough and a bit weak so will not push it and set myself back again, but I am very happy with what I got done today and I am that much closer to them going back out, that will be a very exciting day for all of us....... 

Let's get real

I haven't gotten dressed for a week hahahahaha I have been stuck in pjs I just didn't feel like putting clothes on when I was in and out of bed so much but tonight I had to throw on pants and a sweater to go check the mail but as soon as I got back in I put my pj's on lol, I am feeling a lot stronger today and I was able to eat supper so that was nice well I have been eating but just very little because as soon as I start to cough I throw up so been drinking my meal shakes. My kid called me last night and we had a good talk, she is going through some very difficult days and I wish I could help her more but she must handle this herself I just give support and love all I can do being so far away from her and the kids. I have some very exciting news that I am praying it all goes the way I want, my hubby might be getting a new job, he will still be doing the same thing just for a better company that respects and treat there employee's way better, he finds out next week, I sure hope it happens because work is very difficult for him, he might have to go back to evenings for awhile and it will be a lower wage but he will have full time hours again so actually he should be making about 50 to 60 bucks more then he is now so he is happy about that. And the other news is on monday evening we will be voting to renew the mortgage on our co-op and I am so stoked about it I can hardly wait, if the vote goes through which I am sure it will that means we will be starting construction in March getting the renovations done and I am so happy, I am also scared because I have no idea how I am going to move all our stuff around to get the flooring in but we will deal with that when I have to, the added bonus for this is that our subsidy will continue for  the time we have the second mortgage so I hope people vote yes, for me I don't care that we will have a mortgage to pay for how many more years, why would it matter to us we don't own our place after the mortgage is done we can never own our unit it has to stay a co-op so it's not like our rent went down after the first one was paid we still have to pay so what does it matter really, the idea of having the mortgage end was a good feeling sure but if we don't renew that means non of the repairs will get done till someone moves out and then we fix the unit, so for all of us that have been here for over ten years it kind of pissed us off that the new people are coming in to brand new places and here we sit with nothing being done, so I am going to voice how I feel and I hope it gives other something to think about. One of of units the lady has been here for 32 years so can you imagine how upsetting it is for her to live with old carpet and other things that should be done I can tell you right now I know I have her vote lol. So a few things going on I am feeling stronger in my emotions and depression my body knows that spring is coming and is starting to pep up again and I am so happy for that because it's been a very difficult winter for both of us and my animals are getting restless cause they know soon they will be outside again and able to run around a larger area and let me tell you the day can't come soon enough for me I will have my craft room back lol. Hope everyone is having good days looking forward to the day I can stand outside with my face to the sun again...

Help for non profit rescue

Hi all I am looking for some small to medium animal carriers for a non profit rescue that a friend of mine is running, if you have any and can drop them off down town Vernon BC plz let me know, appreciate all the help we get. Thanks....

Dollar store workout lol

Today I went to the dollar store walked around shopped for about 20 min got what I wanted and more of course went to my car and sat and sat the sun was out big time so that was great cause I had to rest before I could drive home, this winter has been kicking my ass I tell ya, I still have a cough but it's the weakness I hate but I am keeping my fingers crossed I think I am on my way to mending finally. I was told that what I have had is called the 100 day cough and for sure it has been that and more, thank goodness no more fever just have to be careful how cold I get cause once I get to cold it takes me forever to warm up but as they say this two shall pass. The best part of today was when I came home and saw some of my early spring flowers starting to grow I am so excited for spring this year, I have a lot of plans I want to do this year for my yard I just hope that I can handle the work, I am sure I can get it done just might take me longer to get it finished. Our Co-op office decided to get rid of the huge office desk that has been in there for years, I was the first person who had the option of taking the desk and I would have taken it for sure but I am to sick to move it and do what I wanted to do with it, I wanted to take the top off and put it on clasping legs so I can use it for cutting out patterns it would have been great I would have had to cut the width a bit but I have a table saw so that would of been okay but with me being so sick I just couldn't take on the job of helping to move it to my porch so my loss this time someone will get a great desk not sure if they sold it or what happened yet, they could have gotten a load of money for it because it was very old and a lawyer type desk very solid but oh well not my problem thank goodness lol.  They had a meeting and I couldn't go again I am going to ask to have the next meeting and I am going to have it on a sunday afternoon not 6:30pm I hate that I know for most that isn't late but for me during winter I take my meds at 6pm to start to shut my head off so I can try and sleep so by 6:45 pm I am gonzo can't play cards let alone listen to people talk about the same shit they always talk about, so funny cause I got a note from one of the lady's about something they talked about at the meeting, get this they want me to make up a parking map so people park in the right spot, I mean give me a fucking break you mean to tell me that people can't respect others to not park in there spot come on grow up for shit sake, and for another thing its winter I am not going out and drawing a map at this time of the year for one thing I don't know where people park down at the other end why would I, and besides all that 2015 I sent out 4 notices about parking and other shit how many more do I have to waste my time writing, obviously they couldn't give a rats ass, so I said to my friend oh I see the children were out in the sandbox again hahahahahaha she laughed thought that was so funny. I am sorry but if someone continued to park and block my parking spot after being told not to I would start calling a tow truck fuck it, they wouldn't park there again I bet hahahaha, at my end we don't have any problems at all everyone is so respectful and if they want to use someone else spot they ask first, is that not how it should be done?  I have never been around so many adults that act like children in my life, all this petty bickering all the time no wonder I had to take a break from this place. Winter sucks for me because of my S.A.D. and depression but this year is the first year I have really wanted to move out but I made a decision I am no longer going to do all the extra work around here I am going to concentrate on my own yard, I want to change some of my garden, would like to have some raised beds for veggies and just spend more time doing what I love and let the others worry about other crap cause I sure don't get any respect for what I do well that is a lie some people here are so wonderful and make it a point to say thank you for my work and those are the people I help out with yard work or other stuff they need, that's what my plan is to keep the positive people all around me and forget all the other crap, I am just way to old to be bothered with all this. It will be interesting to see what actually gets done I think a lot are going to see just what I do to keep this place running for grounds.... 

2017 better be better then 16

Happy New Year,  I actually was awake for it how you say well I went to bed at 6pm and slept till 9pm then I was up lol, wasn't a plan just worked out that way. I have been away from the computer for a few days just needed a break from everything, I started to feel better started to sleep more and thought i was on my way to spring but I had to go out yesterday and get some food and came home with a fever and a cough again, it's nothing bad just a lot of flem I can't get rid of, so I will be vicks and hot tea again for a few days, that's fine I don't need to go get anything for a few days but man I hate it when this happens. The only fun thing was I got to take hubby's bank card and had a limit of 250.00 to spend lol I went and got meat and some other stuff then headed to the dollar store hahahahaha but I didn't even spend 200.00 so I was like do I get to keep the change?  no I didn't but was tempting lol. Telus came and hooked up our optical line way better for gaming for sure but my computer doesn't matter cause it is an older comp so can only go as fast as it can but keeps hubby happy on xbox so that's what counts hahahahaha. Today I had planned on washing floors and cleaning cages but I just don't feel like it so will put it off for another day. Went and got my pjs on vicks all over my chest and then I put my turtleneck sweater on feels wonderful so far lol of course I have bare feet lol.  I spent an hour wrapping my hair in homemade rollars lol, I made them out of straws and held them on with clothes pegs hahahahahaha  what a sight but it worked just I think I will make them a bit bigger around and try it again and next time I will put some mouse in my hair before I wrap see if then it will hold longer then 2 hours, was thinking maybe of trying a rag wrap but not sure I can remember how to do it, can't be that hard the most part is getting started, would be way more comfortable then straws with pegs hahahahaha  what can you do. I used to have all kinds of rollers when I was working in the salon but I gave all my stuff away when I had to move, now I wish I had kept some, might have to have a look in the dollar store and see if I can find some, my hair is past my shoulders now except the sides they are just passed my ears almost down to my neck, it's been so hard to not cut it, I want a certain hair cut that I need all my hair down to my shoulders, at least I can put it all in a ponytail now and just clip the sides back, will see how it goes I am sure in the middle of summer I am going to want to hack it all off again. Man my neck is hot I should have done this way sooner feels so good, guess a hot bath is out of the question tonight don't want to waste the vicks doing the job maybe in the morning. Well I think I will put the brats to bed early and maybe go to bed in my sweater and sleep it off as much as I can cause I want to get better damn it the dollar store is calling me hahaahaha.
Peace to you all.....