Blues are here

I have been struggling the past 2 weeks, as soon as the weather changes my mood changes and this year it has started early. Today I woke up tired and feel like I could go back to sleep for hours but I won't, yesterday I fell asleep on the couch about 3pm and slept till 5 and I had to struggle to wake up then and later as I tried to go to bed I couldn't sleep so I was up till 4am then hubby sent me to bed and I slept till 9 so sleep is just not happening again. I did finally go to my doctor this past weeks and I had no idea that I hadn't been to see her for a year, I was just going to the clinic and getting my pills really I though it had only been maybe 5 months so that tells you just how bad my head is again. Some days you just have to laugh just to get through like the other day friends of mine came over and I went to make them coffee and tea and put the water in the mug and in the micro and pushed start, then I heard a crackle and turned it off I forgot you can't put gold rimmed cups in there, just not thinking straight at all, not to mention we visited for about an hour and so many times I had to ask them to repeat what they said cause I kept drifting off, god I hate that, I am so lucky my friends understand and I am not trying to be rude. Talking is a hit and miss also, I will go to say something and blurt out the wrong word or mix up the letters in the word at least that is usually funny so I can laugh at that part. I guess in the last 2 months I have been under more stress then I thought I was. I have been dealing with the Ecap program getting everyone's applications in and emailing back and forth to first one girl then they fired her and now I am dealing with another guy who is way better and easier to deal with thank god but it has been hard to keep my head straight and not get stressed about it. To top it all off I am fighting with some of the people in the co-op just to get them to sign the papers, I mean what the hell is that? who wouldn't want a free furnace or fridge so they are pissing me off to say the least. On a good note the guy's came and put our new fan in and then came back a week later and put our new furnace in, it is amazing way stronger then the one we had and the house heats up so fast so that is wonderful, the only problem was I had a few panic attacks before they got here and had to spend most of the day in my room, all the noises had me jumping so was a difficult day for both days but thank goodness my hubby was home both days so he dealt with the guys. But I must say all the guy's who were here were fantastic to me they all understood and worked as fast as they could and did such a great job. I think the other reason I am having a ruff time is my period was very late again like almost 60 days I think so my moods have been crazy with that, I did adjust my meds to get ready for winter but I think I might have to adjust them again in a month see how things go in the next couple weeks. My blood pressure is fantastic right now so that is a good thing, I am trying to get some new shoes so I can start to work out again my knee's are very sore but I can't afford vitamins right now so that is a big part of it plus we have been eating shit food cause we didn't have any money to get better stuff so my insides are all inflamed again so very happy about that  NOT.  Good thing GST comes on friday so I can go get some fruit and my cereal I need, for some strange reason Dean and I eat a lot of salad in the winter that's great for me and we eat porridge a lot also so that gives me a lot of fiber and I love it. We have been getting frozen veggies and Dean gets the california mix but I am going to have to get something else because I'm not supposed to eat broccoli or cauliflower and the carrot's are to big and hard for me I just don't like them so I guess I will have to get up early and go get food with him this time and I hate food shopping. I have to get the rabbit's and the doves set up for winter also, I think the rabbit's are going to be in the living room this winter and the doves can be upstairs will have to see how it goes, it's kind of easier if they are all upstairs but not a lot of room to work with plus I don't have a cage for the doves yet so have no idea what I am going to do with them yet. So today I am moving things around and seeing if I can set stuff up that's the plan but we will see how far I get with my head not in the game lol....