I don't friggen know ?

Today was a I don't give a shit day, I was up and down more times then I can remember just way manic more then I have ever been but I did manage to sleep almost 2 hours in the tub this morning, what is it with laying in water I fall asleep so easy, I even tried a waterbed at one point but because I am a heavy person it just wasn't working for me and it sure didn't help me sleep so the tub seems to be were I have to go lol. My hubby doesn't like it but I have been doing it for so many years and haven't drown yet plus our tub is made for someone around a hundred pounds so if I want to have a soak I have to almost fill the tub and the safety drain kicks in if i fill to much. Tonight is our big AGM for the co-op that we have once a year and I decided I am not going just an added stress I don't need and nothing ever comes of the meeting it's all gooble goop to me with finances and stuff and they always have it at 6:30pm for once I wish we could do it on a sunday and earlier in the day I mean it's one sunday out of the year then I could probably make it but as it stands right now my pills kick in around 4:30pm and by then it's a waste of my time to try and focus cause it just won't happen so I am staying home besides I give so much to this place I am tired and well down right pissy about a few things so I need to take a break, being head of grounds winter is a good time for me to relax and work on just me so that is what I plan on doing. I know there is going to be at least one person here who is going to be mad that I didn't go and well that persons opinion about my life isn't something I give a damn about lol. I did drive to the gas station and got some drinks today it was so nice out with the sun shinning I spent some time just walking my yard and soaking it in, I am hoping tomorrow is going to be the same now that I can do a few things without hacking up a lung I might get some of my garden fixed up. Cleaned cages sure am happy I have all this straw this winter I can clean the rabbit litter box every 3 days and not having any smell way cheaper then doing shavings well a lot cheaper because my neighbor got 3 big bales for her chickens and then decided that shavings works better for her so she gave me all 3 bales was so nice of her I will have straw for a year to keep them clean. Some how one of my doves managed to get out of the cage this morning I think I found the hole she fell through so will see if she is out tomorrow, Jimmy my love bird sure told me she was out he was not happy about it at all he was like hey what the heck how come she is out and I am not lol. Well I think I am going to go lay down all of a sudden I am very tired and I have decided to sleep when the feeling hits for the next little while to catch up but only for 4 days after that I am going back to no naps and get back on track hope it works cause this girl is so tired it's not even funny anymore....