What the hell I just woke up and noticed it is almost Dec

lmao  I know things have been difficult but I had no idea it was as bad as it has been till today when I looked at the date I almost shit myself, I mean we don't do much for Xmas we have a nice dinner and watch a xmas show and that is about it on the rare time we might share a gift but for the most part we haven't done gifts for the past 7 years just can't afford to we tend to splurge with our income tax and that is fine with me but I must admit I do miss opening something but I would rather have a nice dinner and maybe visit with some friends but this year I seem to be so far behind in time, so tonight I have been rocking out to Xmas music trying like crazy to get into the mood and I think it has helped I do feel a bit better tonight and I scared the hell out of me cause I decided to decorate tomorrow while hubby is at work and surprise him, he will be so happy cause it will show how hard I am trying to keep my moods up, I might even sneak down when he goes to bed and start lol I guess I needed to listen to music, I don't realize how much i have been missing till I turn it on and then it hits me like a ton of bricks. I have had music in my life all growing up I mean my mom was in a band and they practiced at our house so I was always around music so it is a big part of who I am I just forget now and then that part of who I am and man I miss me sometimes. Today I went to the dollar store for some tums and came home with a bunch of stuff hahahahaha well not a lot cause I have to watch my change right now but I got some sauce and noodles, a can of mushrooms small corn and black olives, I also got a can of something they call hearts not sure but I think I have had them before but for a buck I can try them again oh and some popcorn cause I have been craving it so much and after all that they didn't have any tums lol  so I went to the drug store and they had them on sale so was a good time had by me hahahahaha it doesn't take much to boost my moods, and I am so proud of me I put back the chocolate and candy I had in the cart and got 2 ears of corn on the cob instead hahahahaha. I have been making apple crisp but the apples I have just don't work for it they are way to tart so I think I will just compost them and splurge and go get some from the farm and instead I was thinking about the fact that the part I love with apple crisp is the crisp part so I am going to make some drop cookies instead, I am going to just put a bit of apple sauce I got from the dollar store and let me say it's a big jar and is the best I have ever had besides my mom's freshly made. I think I can figure it out will try a small batch and see if it works, not today I have had enough excitement for me today lol. Apple cider that is what I wish I had my neighbor makes the best ever and she put a bit of real cream on top it is to die for and I can't wait for her Xmas tea she will be having soon, she always has it every xmas and if no one say's they will come she just makes it just for me, I have said this before but I really do have terrific neighbors oh sure there are some I can do without but you always have some in a bunch I just choose to ignore them till I have to slap them hahahahaha no but really hahahaha. What I want to know is were is our snow? it better get here soon I sometimes hate it but there is nothing that will cheer me up more then going and watching the kids slide down our hill and crash into my fence hahahahaha, last year I even went for a couple slides not sure I will do that again this year but I might the kids have such a good laugh when I go down the hill makes us all laugh. I cleaned cages today the doves were happy cause they get to have a bath before I clean so they can splash and play, I usually just give them a sand bath in winter but this year I have been letting them bath once a week and they seem to be happier and smell batter hahahaha speaking of smelling, yesterday I had Jimmy out and he was flying around all upstairs like he owns the joint lol and when I sat down he came and had a chat with me and he always wants to snuggle for a few min so I leaned back in the chair and he came over and I laughed so hard when he got close to me I said to him Jimmy you stink wooweee you stink and he sneezed right at the perfect time hahahahaha was so funny I said you need a bath and as soon as I said that he flew back to his cage and called lol so I went and got him a bath and he splashed around for like 15 min he was having such a good time, both him and finches get a bath once a week and in between they splash there drinking water around but I guess I for got on friday so by sat he was ready to bath. Well my music is done I think I am going to go have a bath and drink my tea, tomorrow I have to rig up a notice for me to remember my pills cause I forgot to take them again this morning so I will have the computer tell me so I can get my shit together and take them, and I wonder why my moods are everywhere damn woman get it together hahahahahah...